The Hard Fang Life
by nike888
Summary: Being a vampire sucked... No pun intended. From the weird allergies, to the lack of reflection, the constant need to apply five hundred proof sunblock so I don't fry, or the fact that I'm now nocturnal, which means I only get the late night TV shows. So ya... my life. I own nothing so please don't sue me:)
1. Chapter 1

Being a vampire sucked.

…

No pun intended.

From the weird allergies, to the lack of reflection, the constant need to apply five hundred proof sunblock so I don't fry, or the fact that I'm now nocturnal, which means I only get the shitty TV shows.

That's not even counting how I got my current vampireness. I believe the correct term for the way I was turned would be a "forced turning." Not very creative I know, but what monsters lack in terminology they make up for it in puns.

Painful, painful puns.

To make a long story short, this vampire named Lord Stocker caused my current vampiric state, he got in trouble with the new vampire Queen over it, she gave me his estate and title, and now I live in New Salem as some kind of nobility with my human family.

The Queen, a vampiress named Elissabat, gave me books on what it being vampire entailed and on monsterkind in general, then had a tutor show me how not to eat anyone with a pulse.

So… ya.

What every teenager has to deal with.

The plus side though, Lord Stoker was a rich SOB, so now I'm essentially a rich SOB with an unnecessary big Victorian style house. Provided by the butt lots of moola I'm the proud owner of.

My sisters and mom were crazy supportive over the whole changing species thing. My mom threw fits on my behalf, my twin sister Skylar went to the drugstore for iron pills and sunblock, my youngest sister Emma drew pictures of what I look like as a vampire since I can't see my reflection in the mirror, my younger sister Claire lent me her Harry Potter books, and my oldest sister Drew gave me shit for not sparkling.

Women.

I thought my junior year would mostly consist of studying for the SATs, trying not to fail at life, being an awkward mess, and staying away from my twin sister's grabby friends.

What I got was a mess of a summer with no human school in the New Salem area enrolling me, because I'm a potentially a hazard for their students with my dietary needs.

Which is fine, because school sucks and I'll use any excuse to not go.

But my mom was like, "No, you're going to school, so get your pale ass in here and help me look for the key to your future."

So I was home free, 'cuz no one wanted a blood sucking night demon integrated with their nice non night demon human students.

Speciesist bastards.

That is until me and my mom were invited to visit an all monster school called Monster High. Again not a very creative name, but my mom dragged me to a meeting with the Headmistress Bloodgood.

At first glance Headmistress Bloodgood looked normal enough, with the exception of the Victorian looking clothes and her horse Nightmare. That mindset way quickly shattered when halfway through her speech on monster equality and what the school stood for, she lifted her head from her shoulder and tucked it under her arm still talking.

My eyes widened. _So that's what wrong with her._

And judging by the choked breath beside me, my mom was a little freaked out by the headless horsewomen in front of them.

She handed me and my mom a map of the campus (which had a train station, which ran 24/7), a list of classes, and a rulebook.

"Well, Mr. MacCallaghan what do think?" The Headmistress inquired behind her desk with her head still tucked under her arm.

_Crap, _my mind still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that her head was detachable and not the words coming from said detachable head's mouth.

"Um, it all sounds very… interesting. Yes, interest. It sounds interest," I rambled, scratching the back of my neck.

My mom sent me a reproaching look for not paying attention before clearing her throat and asked when the new school year started.

And my fate was sealed...

…

"Did take your iron pill?"

"Yep."

"Did you put on your sunscreen?"

"If hadn't I'd be on fire."

_Wack._

"What the hell. Why'd ya do that."

"That's for bein' a smart ass to your mother."

"Pff, whatever."

The first day of school was always the worst. From the new teachers. to waking up unnecessarily early (which kind of sucks being nocturnal), and the social norm of dressing up nicely on the first day (me and my sweatpants were like best friends).

So I was awoken at an ungodly hour (7:00) by my sister Skylar, who's a morning person, which I'm not… obviously.

Then the witch had the nerve to be let out a constant stream of cheerful chatter while searching, bypassing the comfy clothes, for the nice clothes in my closet (I'm more than capable dressing myself thank you very much).

After sleepily going through my morning routine (with the addition of applying sunblock), and attempting to dressing in sweats (bitch yelled at me), I dressed in the jeans and long red flannel shirt Skylar left out and waited for the she-witch, leaning back against front door with my arms crossed enduring abused by the hand of my mother.

"How do I look, perfect or perfect," inquired Skylar walking past the arched stairway .

Cocking a brow, I looked her up and down. She was wearing a lavender sundress with her long black hair tied back in a complex looking braid, and had a dangerous looking pair of high heels on. She'd also put on a healthy dollop of makeup on her face to accentuate her navy eyes and pouty lips.

"Ya look like a hussy."

_Wack._

"Oww. What the hell. Is it hit Liam today or something."

"That's for lying brat. I look hot and you know it."

"Why haven't I eaten you yet?"

Skylar pinched my cheek while making cooing sounds. "Your sooo cute when you pout. Now let's go before we're late for our first day of school." She walked toward the door, grabbed the car keys on the key holders and her backpack, before strolling out toward the driveway.

Mom kissed my cheeks and hugged before say, "Have a good first day, and remember not to be such a little bastard sweetie, you need to make friend."

"Make friends? With monsters? At the monster school?"

She began pushing me out the door. "Good job Liam, you can hear."

"Hey, I don't appreciate the sarcasm."

With a "That's nice sweetie" she very rudely handed me my massager bag, pushed me toward the glaring sun, then with a wave, shut the door behind my back. I hissed at the bright light.

Women.

_BEEP! BEEP!_

"Get in bitch, we're going to late."

I glared at my sister's Ford Taurus.

_So it begins._

…

I should've known this was going to be weird.

Not like getting turned into a new species weird, but cheesy sitcom family time weird.

First, it started before I even got out of the car. Skylar was in the process of dropping me off, 'cuz she goes to the nice normal human school, while I go to Monster High.

She was excited about something lady related, and I was pretending to listen, like all brothers and males do when women rant. Playing with my phone I didn't notice that we'd arrived to my new monster school.

_Click._

I looked up, brows furrowed confused. Skylar was holding a small pink camera, squealing at the picture she just took.

"That better not be a picture of me, 'cuz I'll bust that camera if it is."

"But you looked so cute, I need just needed to show the club," she whined.

My sister isn't normal. That maybe a common thing siblings say about each other, but she seriously maybe a bit insane.

It started when, in seventh grade, a friend of my sister showed her a manga, and not just any manga, a yaoi manga.

For all those blessed people who have never heard of or had anything to do with yaoi, never ever get involved. It's like a crazy drug or something, because after reading that one manga Skylar went bat shit crazy.

She join forums, bought enough yaoi manga and BL novels to fill a small library, and even made a yaoi club with all her cheerleading friends. It didn't help that she's one of the "popular" kids, so every girl and their grandmas wanted in. Then to complete the madness she thought I'd make the perfect uke.

Whatever the hell that was.

But as a consequence Skylar and her little club members constantly taking picture of me, it's even worse now that I'm a vampire. What they do with said pictures I have not idea, and I don't think I want to know.

Which begins us back to the point.

Baring my fangs, I snatched the camera from the crazy woman's grasp and looked at the black and white photo (which is the only medium of photo that works on vampires), before with a click of a button deleted said photo, to the protest of my sister.

Satisfied, I tossed the camera at my grumbling sibling and looked out the window toward the massive school building, watching the different shapes and size of my new peers.

Anxiety pool in my stomach.

I my of looked nervous 'cuz Skylar squeezed my shoulder, "You'll be fine, if anyone bothers you, just call me and I'll kick their ass."

I snorted.

"Sure, I'll call the puny human to fight bully monsters," I fluttered my eyelashes mockingly, "my hero."

_Wack._

"Will you stop doing that."

My sister pulled a rare serious face. "Serious call me if you need anything, no matter how stupid or unnecessary you think it is."

Grabbing my messenger bag, I opened the door. Looking at my sister I clicked my tongue. "Fine."

Skylar flashed a dazzling smile, before pointing toward at the school. "Hurry up or I'm going to be late."

Getting out, I shut the door, and gave her a wave before walking toward the monster school.

I eyeballed the various shapes, colors, and movements of my fellow classmates walking toward the massive building. My eyes taking in rotting flesh, fur, fangs, miscellaneous gelatinous forms, and scales.

...

_While at least they're divers_, I thought some what hysterically.

Sighing, I walked toward the school, excepting my fate.

I looked up at the bright blue sky, and prayed to the monster Gods for a no stupid bull shit. Hopefully Monster High is just like a regular school.

I mean how different could it be from a human school? Monster were like people. Right?


	2. The First Day

Everything was going better than expected. The classes were pretty much the same, but with horribly, unwarranted puny names. Physical deaducation? Clawculus? Home ick?

Come on, I'm all for a play on word… No that's a lie. I hate puns and clever word play.

Dumbest use of photonics.

On a less stupid puns note, as of getting out of the car and walking into the monster school, I haven't been maimed, eaten, haze, tickled, and I remain overall unmolested.

Which was nice.

The male monsters seemed ok, they weren't too different from human males, I guess. They seem to be talking about common everyday things that males talk about; like sports, women, bodily functions ...smells. Everyday male things. Maybe?

I don't know. I grew up in a household of five women, I'm not the expert on male related things or male bonding activities in general, but whatever.

The lady monsters though… they need to get their priorities straight and they seem a bit shady.

Before I even walked through Monster High's front doors some asshat knocked my books from my hand which lead meeting to my new acquaintance, a french Werecat named Catrine DeMew.

At first It was a little disconcerting to have a cat person interact with you, especially when she starts talks about fitting in after first saying her name, barely letting me introduce myself before proceeding to drag me around school- where I met an Aquagirl wannabe, lady fido, and sparky; who gave us both our class schedules and a map of the school, before showing us around campus. When they later inquire if Catrine or myself had any questions, I couldn't help but raise my hand, causing little mermaid and old yeller to blink at me, most likely forgetting I was there. Bitches.

"What's on your mind mate," asked the Aussie fish girl.

I cleared my throat in preparation for what I thought was a very good question. "What's with every chick in this school wearing heels or wedges?" Gesturing toward their feet. "I don't think I've seen a single lady monster in this entire school wearing flats."

All three women blinked.

"Well, it makes us freaky fierce," answered lady chews-on-bones.

I cocked a brow, "Soo you can't be "freaky fierce" in a pair of nice comfortable sandals or maybe some tennis shoes," I shook my head to remind myself that I shouldn't fake giving a care, "It doesn't matter, anyway it's nice meeting you guys but I'm pretty sure I missed like three classes…"

Turning on my heel, with my bag slung on my shoulder, I walked down the hall pasting my new peers, my eyes drifting from my class schedule to the school map as I tried to navigate too whatever class I had.

"Laim, _attendre_."

I slowed my pace so Catrine could catch up with me. Well mom did tell me to play nice and make friends so I guess I'll try to be friendly and not be such a ray of sunshine.

I shuttered at the thought.

She moved in front of me in a very grandioso manner, halting me. "Everyone seems nice but I think they are hiding something. Maybe they don't like us, maybe we do not fit in."

The genuine worry and uncertainty on her face, over whether or not she fit in, kept me from shooting her a look and making a rather crude comment.

I sighed, "Sweet cakes I'm sure you're fine." I punched her shoulder, in a hopefully comforting manner. "Everyone will love ya."

Rubbing her shoulder, she asked in a small voice. "Really."

"Yep, you're the prettiest cat person I've ever seen. So I'm sure you'll be fine here. Now, we have the same fourth period don't we? Here, help me find…grff. Oh, were hugging now? Okay, cool."

Lady pounce-a-lot just ignored me, and started to nuzzling my shoulder. After a few awkward pats from yours truly, Mittens started to purr- which is all well and good- but it's a wee bit disconcerting to hear from a cat person.

"Listen toots, this is dainty and all, but the purrin' things kinda making it real. So reign it in."

A sheepish looking Catrine pulled away, taking a step back she said. "_Excusez moi_, Liam. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"S'okay kitten, everyone gets over excited sometimes." I looked at my phone for the time. "But seriously, we need to get to class..."

We didn't get five steps before the undead pikachu appeared out of nowhere and said, "Voltage, come on," before walking down one of the many halls, and gestured for us to follow.

I sighed. _Wonder what're the chances that I just walk away and it not seem rude. Hmm, well better find out._

I turned the opposite way, full intent on not going the same way as Madam lightning bolt, but Catwomen hindered my escape by grabbing my arm and dragging me down the same hall as Sultana stitches.

The french feline sent me an innocent look while I glared.

The black and white haired monster lead us to the front door, where the she-fleabag and fish girl stood holding the door handles on either side of the doors. When both girls opened the doors revealing a large group of waving, cheering monsters- two of which were flying/floating while holding a welcome banner- with Headmistress Bloodgood at the forefront. Three cheerleader looking monsters arrived on the scene, doing a little cheer, if you could call it that.

"All this... just for us?" I turned my head toward Catrine, who stood, staring at Baroness bolts and fish gal.

The frankenstein touched Catrine's shoulder "I remember how nervous I was when I was new. Worried if I would be excepted. Well you are. You are Monster High."

Catrine smiled, her eyes lighting up in happiness. "We are Monster High."

Closing my eyes, I rubbed my temples. _God I need something to drink. Preferably of the whiskey variety. And maybe chocolate. Chocolate flavor whiskey? No, never mind, that sound nasty._

Something wrapping around my shoulder and a flash of light snapped me form my inner dialogue.

I blinked at the polaroid camera.

A group of lady monsters ran up to look at the newly developed photo, surrounding us, and rapidly chatting up myself and Catrine.

"Aww, you didn't show in the photo," came a whiny voice.

At that, someone shove said photo in my face. It showed a smiling Sparky with her arms around Catrine and the space I would be in if I could take anything other than a black and white photo.

"That's too bad. It would could've been such a handsome picture to.," commented a voice outside the group of monsters. An orange werecat sashayed up the stairs, her eyes locked on me. When in front of me she trailed a finger down my chest while staring at me what she must have thought was in a seductive manner. "Hi there handsome, the names Toralei, what's yours?"

I shoot her a blank look. _Great, grabby cat over heres hitting on me. Lovely. Just what I need._

I combated the situation like I did with most things I found irritating or unnecessary,"Catrine help me find the lunchroom, I'm hella starving," I ignored it. Taking a step away from grabby kitty, I reopened the school map and headed in the direction that looked like it lead to the cafeteria (I refuse to think of it as the "creepateria").

Halfway down the hall I was stopped by a "Wait, we'll come with you", not really thinking in my current hunger induced state. At which point I had a Zombie, a Werewolf, a Mummy, a Mermaid, a fellow Vampire, a Frankenstein, a Yeti, and Catrine walking towards me. Hopefully to help me find the cafeteria.

_God, when did my life turned into a bad bar joke._

…

Our little entourage had entered the cafeteria and sat a table in the middle of the room, with the addition of the girl's respective boyfriends. The seat arrangement goes as follows: Myself, Catrine, Gholia, her boyfriend Slo Mo, Abby, Lagoona, and her boyfriend Gil on one side. Across from me was Cleo's boyfriend Deuce, Cleo, Frankie, Clawdeen, Draculaura, and her boyfriend Clawd on the otherside.

Because I'm likely to forget their names, I'm now going to rename them based on their appearance or personal characteristics.

And... a go.

Crazy-hair-sunglasses, bandage Queen, Baroness bolts, Howler, Bubblegum, Fido, the smart bitch, Slow go, Cool girl, Aquagirl, Guppy, and Kitten.

Most everyone at our table were either talking amongst ourselves (Cleo, Frankie, Clawdeen, Lagoona, Abbey and Draculaura), playing with their phones (Deuce, Clawd, myself, and Gil), sketching (Catrine), or doing science-y things (Ghoulia).

"...I was like no way does that top match that skirt?! It's just not possible. Polka dot with strips, please! And she was like…"

The bubbly pink Vampire had yet to stopped talking. All I wanted to do was drink my bagged blood in a nice non annoying atmosphere, but bubbles just kept bitching about the dumbest things. Cargo pants don't go with striped vests. No clunky jewelry during spring. No wearing white after Labor Day.

No cares were given that day.

But upon entering the cafeteria and buying my blood bag, I learned that sweet fangs got sick at the sight of blood. Which is the dumbest thing ever heard of. Ever.

I come to this conclusion after paying my bag of blood and bubblegum turned green when she saw the source of nutrition in my hand, which was followed by a session of what looked like dry heaving when I started drinking.

I didn't even know vampires could get sick over something we need to survive.

Suffice to say I found the whole experience to be an entertaining one. The others didn't share my amusement.

From the corner of my eye I saw Catrine look up from her sketch pad and pencil to peeking at me, her pencil moving rapidly.

Frowning I leaned towards her, eyes on the sketch pad.

"What're ya drawing?" I said softly as to not draw attention, trying to get a look.

Catrine hugged the pad to her chest. "Oh, _rein_. I was just doodle this and that," she let out a nervous chuckle.

"Cool, mind if I take a look?"

"_Non_, _non_, _non_. They are just scribbles really."

"Hmm, these are really good Kitten," I said, flipping through the recently liberated sketch pad.

"_Salut_!"

I ignored her grumbling and attempts to snatch the sketch pad back, in favor of looking at the pencil drawings of landscapes, still lifes, and a variety of different monsters.

I couldn't help it when both of my eyebrows shoot to my hairline at the most recent drawing. It was a sideways profile of a male monster- showing a fine straight-edged nose, longish wavy hair, an almond shaped eye, with just a glimpse of fang on his lips, and a pointed fey like ear.

Turning my eyes toward the embarrassed looking Werecat, I calmly placed the sketch pad between us- making sure to show the drawing- while cocking a brow.

"You made me look like a fairy."

This seemed to catch everyone's attention, snapping them out of whatever they were before, warranting them to lean forward to get a better look at Catherine's exaggeration.

Crazy-hair-sunglasses, looking up for the sketchpad, sent me an amusement look. "Dude, that looks just like you."

I definitely scolded at Crazy-hair-sunglasses, 'cause Liam MacCallaghan sure as hell doesn't pout. Picking up the offending picture, I held it right beside my face. Making sure everyone got a good look at me and the picture, I said, "This looks like a fairy version of me, right. Right!"

The table's occupants opted to ignore my question to compliment a bashful Catrine on her drawing. Snake boy got punched in the shoulder when he had the gall to smirked at me.

Bastard.

**...**

**Sorry about not writing in forever, college finals were a bitch. If the French or grammars wrong I'm sorry. I'm not French and I'll working on getting better with my word smithing, but please tell me so I can fix my mistakes. Thanks.**


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